面对独立写作，老师上课可能会教你如何写首末段，每句话具体说什么都告诉你。但是中间的主体段很难，因为没有具体的题目，无法规定好每句说什么。所以就导致学生作文中充斥着套话。
下面是一段学生的作文，大家鉴赏下有什么不妥之处。
上面的红色是我的批注，大家可以忽略，学生主题句之后，直接上例子，okay的。但是看完以后，我只想说能否多点真诚，少点套路。全段就在重复每天工作时间长可以提高工作效率，反则会酿成懒散的氛围。
第一句当然是点睛的主题句。First and foremost, longer working within a day can help to boost employees’ working efficiency.
主题句写完之后，咱们就要好好坐下来说道理了。
Longer working hours can provide people with ample time to finish their assigned tasks in the given working day. Thus, there is no excuse for them to postpone what should be done at the moment. In other words, it takes little imagination to predict that their attention can be more easily paid to their current work. Despite that, owing to working continuity, it can considerably guarantee a better working performance.
上面还是一直推荐的分析前因后果路线，平时大家自己课下练习的时候也一定要多去思考一件事情可以成立的原因以及由此产生的结果。这样的思维训练是需要通过练习养成的。
By contrast, many assigned tasks will be left until the next day arrives because of the shorter working hours a day, which will reduce the working efficiency to a large extent.
如果担心字数有限，可以再来说下事情的对立面，这样一正一反，我们的论点就被烘托出来了。
